Author Archives: jrmindful

Setting goals: rewarding yourself

Acknowledge your success in reaching milestone.

Select certain dates reward dates during the process so you can celebrate your accomplishments as you progress.

Choose something that makes you happy and feels like a reward.

When you accomplish the goal, do something even bigger to celebrate.

Let all of your friends know when you achieved your goal.

But no time to rest on your laurels.

Give yourself a week’s holiday; pick another goal; repeat.

Remember, SMARTER goals are ethical and replicable!

Keep a master list of goals you reached so you can look at what you have accomplished!

Let Joe the Life Coach help you with transitions, important life aspirations and goal planning! One step at a time. Call 202.328.7414, Skype to sandpdc or tweet @aprayerdc.

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Setting goals: notifying your network

Another step in goal planning is notifying your network.

Updating your supporters and advocates on your actions is a good way of garnering support and encouragement and ensuring your success.

Send out a few updates to your accountability buddy, friends and family as you work toward your goal.

Let Joe the Life Coach be your accountability buddy. Call 202.328.7413, Skype to sandpdc or tweet @aprayerdc.

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Setting goals: accounting for your actions

Accountability is a key element of goal planning.

Email or call a family member, friend or “accountability buddy” to let him know that you have set a goal for yourself. Include the days and times you’ll devote to task. For example, that you will be working on it on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 4:00-6:00 p.m.

Only dedicate two hours to a task. It’s ample time to start or complete what you need to do. Ask them to check in with you about your progress.

Pick a start day to begin your goal. Mark it on your calendar or online tool.

Begin plotting your action steps on your calendar for your goal work days.

If using old school paper, use pencil in case you need to change an entry.

Be sure your action step matches your allotted amount of work time. If not, break the action step into smaller parts.

Plot as many action steps as possible on your calendar.

Revise and update as needed.

Ask your accountability buddy or one or two friends if you can email them after you complete your work on your allotted days. This will help keep you accountable.

Let Joe the Life Coach be your accountability buddy. Call 202.328.7414, Skype to sandpdc or tweet @aprayerdc.

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Setting goals: first things first

Goals can be daunting. Setting a goal plan even more challenging the more complex the goal.

What actions can you take to get you started and move the register to begin starting on path to accomplish larger goals?

Begin with a relatively easy goal you have in mind.

On a separate sheet of paper or online tool, write down every possible action you can think of to help you achieve this goal.

Include any tasks you can give yourself, any obstacles you can identify to your actions and tasks and the resources you would need and person that could help you around obstacles or help you with tasks.

Ultimately, you are responsible for completion and accountable to yourself.

As you begin working on your goal, more action items may emerge. Incorporate them to your original list.

Ask a friend or accountability buddy to help you think about your list and brainstorm action steps.

Decide how many hours per day and many days per week you want to allot to working on your goal. A good rule of thumb is two hours per task!

Implement and revise if needed.

Note that if you change your mind about starting toward your goal more than three times, you’ll need to reevaluate how important that goal was – no matter how small – and how committed you were.

Start small. Reach your goal. Learn and build your self confidence along the way.

Call Joe the Life Coach for more help at 202.328.7414 or Skype at sandpdc.

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Do you know your pleasure centers?

As a man, do you know your pleasure centers?

Like some stylized drawing of a seated male, cross legged, with a fiery flame flickering above your head or divine halo signaling your aura, you ponder your pleasures. An orgasm, after all is buildup and release of sexual tension, so the more tension you build up, the greater the release!

Where do get your kicks – above or below the waistline?

Have you really thought about what gives you pleasure?

Are you and your partner you hitting the right places?

You might know the usual places that turn you or your partner on, but when it comes to the most erogenous zones of your body, you might be surprised to know about other male pleasure spots you might be missing – from top to bottom.

Brain

A man’s mind is a powerful erogenous zone. A heightened state of arousal in the generalized central nervous system – the brain – makes sexual arousal easier. When your mind gets excited, your body follows.

Forehead

The head and scalp are covered with nerve endings and a light massage from your hairline to your forehead can trigger feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin and get you aroused.

Eyelids

When a man’s eyes are closed, kissing or rubbing his eyelids gently can drive him wild. Try having your partner lightly touch your eyes and eye sockets, then have your partner kiss this area slightly. Having your eyes closed allows you to lose control!

Ears

Many men love their ears touched.

Have your partner placing a thumb and index finger on the spot where your ear lobe connects to the tissue near your face, gently pulling down and letting fingers slide off to start again. You will feel soothed or excited. Gentle tongue action or playful bites, warm breath or tender whispering will continue to be a turn on.

Lips

Kissing is a basic skill to be mastered early. Bad kissing is a deal breaker: if you can’t master the basic simple, wet, deep kiss, how can you be expected to go for more complex techniques?

But it’s not just tongue action. Stimulation by licking and biting lips gently allow a man to feel just the tiniest little sting. There’s a lot of pleasure in a little bit of pain!

Nape of the Neck

Any gentle touch on a man’s neck and collarbone area increases his arousal. Rubbing his neck lightly, nibbling on an earlobe while also running hands toward his genitals are creative combinations.

Nipples

This erogenous zone does not apply to all men, but men who do enjoy having their nipples stimulated do enjoy it. Immensely. Follow cues: what is he doing to yours?

Flick his nipples with your tongue or place it gently (very gently) between your teeth and move your jaw from side to side. Play with his nipples with your fingers or other common objects, a brush, feather, ice cube!

Lower Abs

The belly button and the area between navel and pelvis are tantalizing regions as blood flows to the pelvis and sexual tension increases. Stimulation going back and forth between this area and the genitals develops sexual tension throughout a man’s body.

Inner Thighs

Lightly touching a man’s inner thighs can get him in the mood—fast. Slowly move fingertips up and down his inner thighs. Following the outline of the crevice of his thigh, sensuously move the index and middle fingers up and down this hot spot for a few strokes before pressing the palm of a hand on the top of his thigh to start again with your fingertips.

Perineum

The area between a man’s testicles and his anus is a hot spot for most. If rubbed the right way, it can lead very powerful orgasms.

When he’s about to ejaculate, start vigorously massaging the perineum with your thumb. This gives a man a rush of pleasure and will make his orgasm that much more intense.

Scrotum

The scrotum holds the sensitive testicles. One wrong move and it’s pain, so start off slow.

Cup his scrotum into your hand and gently move the tips of your fingers while performing oral sex.

If both of you are comfortable exploring this, start masturbating him while you lick the area between his testicles. Eventually, you can suck it and perhaps even take a testicle into your mouth at a time for a little pulsation.

Back of the Knees

Ticklish and more sensitive perhaps since the skin is smoother at the back of knee, yet many men love to be kissed or caressed there. Gentle caresses can lead to fireworks. To ramp up anticipation, lightly yet firmly touch the back of the knees with your fingertips in a circular motion.

Feet

Men love foot massages! No wonder practitioners of the ancient art of reflexology focus on the heels of the feet as pressure points that can trigger sexual arousal. Brushing a man’s feet against other parts of your body can really get him excited.

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Behavior change not behavior explanation

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), often called attention deficit disorder (ADD), begins in childhood and can persist in adulthood.

It can affect your everyday and job and employment life but don’t make excuses if you’re diagnosed with it.

The diagnosis of ADHD may be a life-changing explanation for you. It is not an excuse, however, in the real world, which requires behavior change not behavior explanation. Although some may sympathize with you because they know someone with disorder, others most likely are disinterested at best or do not care.

People in the real world set goal plans, timetables and carry out tasks on schedule.

Make your life easier: accept this truth.

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Mindfulness and focusing

Do you do just enough thinking and end up making little real progress?

Are some parts of the day, week, month or year better for certain types of work than others?

Writing on his blog Study Hacks, Georgetown Professor Cal Newport sees the benefits of deep concentration as a technique to allocate time, focus and become more productive and efficient.

First, reduce the “overhead” you spend remembering where you left off and getting your mind ready to concentrate each time you only spend a few hours focusing on a problem.

When you focus on a specific deep work goal for 10 to 15 hours – two days immersed in deep work – you might produce more results than two months of scheduling just an hour a day.

Second, since your body works in cycles, match your rhythms. Consider your planning during a certain time and then another for actually executing.

This deep concentration probably yields better results than trying to mix everything together.

And multi-tasking? Fuhgeddaboudit!

Focus!

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