Category Archives: Equanimity

Patience, why now?

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During a recent session with a client working to reconnect with himself, he reminded me of the value of patience when he said, “Eternity is going to be such a long time, I might as well learn to be patient now!”

And René, the Salvadoran house painter who paints apartments in my building and is known for his speedy yet professional work, said to me in the elevator “It’s ok, I can go to the eighth floor. I have time,” as he pushed the button to my floor and waited until I left to push the button to the floor where he was working. I thanked him for being a life saver today by reminding I have time.

20131011-131114.jpg Do you hit the door close button in the elevator to hasten your way up or down?

Do you refresh your email every few minutes to see if you’ve gotten the message for a follow-up interview?

Do you have it within you to wait until the mud settles and the water is clear?

Do you really expect self-help books, lose weight-fast diets and get-rich schemes to really work in one day, two weeks or 30 days?

Do you rush in as the doors open to the subway car or do you hurry by an open door as someone is leaving?

Do you get annoyed when the person in front of you has more items in her cart than the maximum for that checkout?

Do you expect a reply immediately to an email just because you’ve sent it at the speed of light?

What are the small things in your daily life that can help you to be patient?

Do you have the patience of a saint or like watching drying paint?

Do you stop and ponder?

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Are you a good judge of people?

Do you focus on extrinsic markers — academic scores, net worth, social status, job titles?

Social media has added new layers of extrinsic scoring:

How many friends do they have on Facebook?

Who do we know in common through LinkedIn?

How many Twitter followers do they have?

These extrinsic markers, however, only tell one part of a person’s story. They are necessary, but not sufficient.

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Are you aware of the environment?

The environment is all around you.

How aware are you of its beauty?

How do you acknowledge and affirm your duty for stewardship?

Do you have affection for the sun – when it rises it benefits all?

Are you tempted to be a socially conscious consumer advocating for fair trade, organic production and local markets rather than just consuming less?

Here are some simple steps to discern and guide your actions.

Become aware.

Pray and reflect on the duty to care for the environment and protect the poor and vulnerable.

Learn about and educate others on the causes and moral dimensions of climate change.

Understand how you, your families and friends, communities of belonging and other affiliations contribute to climate change by our own energy use, consumption and waste.

Act to change your choices and behaviors to reduce the ways you contribute to climate change.

Advocate for integrity and compassion and wholistic principles and priorities in climate change discussions and decisions, especially those which have an effect on the most vulnerable.

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Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun and I say
It’s all right.

George Harrison

Is it time to think about your life?

A few questions to ponder…

Do you have a strong self-concept, a powerful sense of your own worth and potential?

How are you dealing with and solving problems in your life?

How can you improve the quality of your relationships with family, friends, fiduciaries and co-workers?

Do you present your opinions and views and speak assertively or aggressively?

Do you have the information, knowledge, and understanding of larger issues that affect you?

Do you and make healthy lifestyle and life choices?

What’s your ability to respond?

Are you setting and achieving goals?

Do you know and understand that you can have an impact on the world?

Do you create projects that improve the lives others and strengthen communities?

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Embrace failure

A blogger friend recently reminded me that accepting failure is part of our daily lives. In fact, it’s a hallmark of success!

Often people place their lives in a continuum with only failure and perfection as end points.

What about changing that measure to competence since perfection doesn’t exist — at least not in the universe we know. The physical universe is riddled with imperfections despite the immutable laws we think regulate it.

Failure is a gauge in an imperfect world.

Are you really a failure?

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Try a little self-help

Sixty percent of DC-area residents believe psychologists can help them cope with mental health issues.

Here’s a self-help method to complement therapies!

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