Do you know your pleasure centers?

As a man, do you know your pleasure centers?

Like some stylized drawing of a seated male, cross legged, with a fiery flame flickering above your head or divine halo signaling your aura, you ponder your pleasures. An orgasm, after all is buildup and release of sexual tension, so the more tension you build up, the greater the release!

Where do get your kicks – above or below the waistline?

Have you really thought about what gives you pleasure?

Are you and your partner you hitting the right places?

You might know the usual places that turn you or your partner on, but when it comes to the most erogenous zones of your body, you might be surprised to know about other male pleasure spots you might be missing – from top to bottom.

Brain

A man’s mind is a powerful erogenous zone. A heightened state of arousal in the generalized central nervous system – the brain – makes sexual arousal easier. When your mind gets excited, your body follows.

Forehead

The head and scalp are covered with nerve endings and a light massage from your hairline to your forehead can trigger feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin and get you aroused.

Eyelids

When a man’s eyes are closed, kissing or rubbing his eyelids gently can drive him wild. Try having your partner lightly touch your eyes and eye sockets, then have your partner kiss this area slightly. Having your eyes closed allows you to lose control!

Ears

Many men love their ears touched.

Have your partner placing a thumb and index finger on the spot where your ear lobe connects to the tissue near your face, gently pulling down and letting fingers slide off to start again. You will feel soothed or excited. Gentle tongue action or playful bites, warm breath or tender whispering will continue to be a turn on.

Lips

Kissing is a basic skill to be mastered early. Bad kissing is a deal breaker: if you can’t master the basic simple, wet, deep kiss, how can you be expected to go for more complex techniques?

But it’s not just tongue action. Stimulation by licking and biting lips gently allow a man to feel just the tiniest little sting. There’s a lot of pleasure in a little bit of pain!

Nape of the Neck

Any gentle touch on a man’s neck and collarbone area increases his arousal. Rubbing his neck lightly, nibbling on an earlobe while also running hands toward his genitals are creative combinations.

Nipples

This erogenous zone does not apply to all men, but men who do enjoy having their nipples stimulated do enjoy it. Immensely. Follow cues: what is he doing to yours?

Flick his nipples with your tongue or place it gently (very gently) between your teeth and move your jaw from side to side. Play with his nipples with your fingers or other common objects, a brush, feather, ice cube!

Lower Abs

The belly button and the area between navel and pelvis are tantalizing regions as blood flows to the pelvis and sexual tension increases. Stimulation going back and forth between this area and the genitals develops sexual tension throughout a man’s body.

Inner Thighs

Lightly touching a man’s inner thighs can get him in the mood—fast. Slowly move fingertips up and down his inner thighs. Following the outline of the crevice of his thigh, sensuously move the index and middle fingers up and down this hot spot for a few strokes before pressing the palm of a hand on the top of his thigh to start again with your fingertips.

Perineum

The area between a man’s testicles and his anus is a hot spot for most. If rubbed the right way, it can lead very powerful orgasms.

When he’s about to ejaculate, start vigorously massaging the perineum with your thumb. This gives a man a rush of pleasure and will make his orgasm that much more intense.

Scrotum

The scrotum holds the sensitive testicles. One wrong move and it’s pain, so start off slow.

Cup his scrotum into your hand and gently move the tips of your fingers while performing oral sex.

If both of you are comfortable exploring this, start masturbating him while you lick the area between his testicles. Eventually, you can suck it and perhaps even take a testicle into your mouth at a time for a little pulsation.

Back of the Knees

Ticklish and more sensitive perhaps since the skin is smoother at the back of knee, yet many men love to be kissed or caressed there. Gentle caresses can lead to fireworks. To ramp up anticipation, lightly yet firmly touch the back of the knees with your fingertips in a circular motion.

Feet

Men love foot massages! No wonder practitioners of the ancient art of reflexology focus on the heels of the feet as pressure points that can trigger sexual arousal. Brushing a man’s feet against other parts of your body can really get him excited.

Behavior change not behavior explanation

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), often called attention deficit disorder (ADD), begins in childhood and can persist in adulthood.

It can affect your everyday and job and employment life but don’t make excuses if you’re diagnosed with it.

The diagnosis of ADHD may be a life-changing explanation for you. It is not an excuse, however, in the real world, which requires behavior change not behavior explanation. Although some may sympathize with you because they know someone with disorder, others most likely are disinterested at best or do not care.

People in the real world set goal plans, timetables and carry out tasks on schedule.

Make your life easier: accept this truth.

Anxiety and you

Have you felt anxious at some point in your life?

Frequent worrier?

Have illness, being fired, feeling discriminated, unemployment, job searching, new job, moving to a new city— made you feel stressed and overloaded?

Have you had full blown panic attacks – chest pain, palpitations, sweating, shortness of breath and dizziness?

Is your anxiety becoming part of a cycle of doubt, worry, fear, inaction, paralysis, depression?

“You need some anxiety in your life and it’s there for a reason. It’s what motivates us to work and keeps us out of trouble,” says Dr. Tom Rebori, medical director of the Mood and Anxiety Disorders Center at Evanston Northwestern Healthcare in Illinois.

If anxiety is interfering with your daily life – disrupting sleep or concentration – it could mean that you have an anxiety disorder. New treatments and research offer good news: anxiety disorders are highly treatable.

Here are the four main anxiety disorders, plus tips and techniques to cope with them and learn to deal with them.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

In the last six months, have you spent half of the days worrying?

Excessive worrying — which interferes with daily life — also causes physical symptoms like low energy, sleep disturbances, muscle tension, sweating, nausea and difficulty concentrating.

Here are two ways of coping.

Keep a worry log so you see patterns and learn to replace negative thinking with another thought until you gradually change your inner dialogue.

Set up “worry periods.” Dr. Dave Carbonell at Anxiety Treatment Center in New York tells patients to set up two 10-minute worry periods every day where they can isolate themselves. By giving their full attention to the worry, it becomes boring because there’s not that much content to it.

Panic Disorder

Scared of losing control, that you’re dying or fearful that you’re going crazy?

Panic attacks occur in certain settings—a crowded mall, elevators. You can associate a situation with that reaction and start avoiding certain situations. Just because you’ve had a panic attack doesn’t mean you have panic disorder, though, unless you’ve had at least two unexpected panic attacks, followed by at least one month of concern about experiencing another attack.

Getting to understand what’s happening is key to treating the disorder: facing (not avoiding certain situations), accepting (not fighting the panic attack, but welcoming it), floating (relaxing through the anxiety without resistance, like floating through water) and letting time pass (knowing that the attack will pass).

Phobia

Social phobias involve an intense fear of situations – usually social or performance-related settings – for fear of having a panic attack.

Specific phobias involve an excessive fear of an object or situation that causes anxious symptoms similar to a panic attack.

Social phobias are treated the same as panic disorders. For specific phobias, the common treatment is gradual exposure.

The first step is to talk about the fear to begin to understand that you won’t die or go crazy when in contact with object or situation.

Post-traumatic stress disorder

Whereas GAD patients worry about the future, PTSD involves worrying about something that happened.

PTSD is a condition where sufferers have been through some kind of traumatic experience. The symptoms are a heightened degree of arousal, nightmares or recurring thoughts, feelings of detachment, sleep problems, high startle response or jumpiness, flashbacks and depression.

Treatment is learning how to live in the present through relaxation.

Anxiety disorder symptoms can come and go. Yet it makes common sense to ease stress, eat healthier and exercise – lifetime habits that will help in the long run.

Set aside time every day for relaxing – use aPrayer, meditate, go for a mindful walk, enjoy a hot or naked yoga session, listen to music, soak in a hot bath – anything where you’re just being you.

For more information:

Edmund J. Bourne, The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, New Harbinger Publications: 2000.

Anxiety Disorders Association of America
http://www.adaa.org

National Institute of Mental Health
http://www.nimh.nih.gov

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/04/130408133020.htm

Passion back in fashion

What is your passion?

Start defining your passions in life by thinking about other things first! Ask yourself these questions. It’s a good practice to take stock from year to year as there are likely changes of which you must become aware.

What’s my mission?

Have you defined your mission to help you choose a course of action?

What are my strengths, values and skills?

How can I bring my purpose to life?

How do I define the contribution I want to make?

How can I bring that contribution I want to make to life?

How will my purpose be meaningful to others?

What is the solution specific to your skill set that will bring the purpose that is meaningful enough to generate the passion I will need to sustain it?

How will I amplify it?

What will I share and how much?

What do I listen for to be truly engaged, genuine and meaningful?

Five questions for self-discovery

You’re answering anywhere between 600 and 10,000 questions per day!

You judge, discern, discriminate. You decide and choose.

Yet here are some of the questions you should ask yourself regularly:

How do the results I’m getting today compare to the ones I got six months ago?

What’s changed that might affect the results that I need now?

What’s changed about the definition of a successful result?

Is what I’ve been doing still working?

What should I start or stop doing to get different results?

Are you a piece of work?

Remember Shakespeare,

What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an Angel, in apprehension how like a God! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—and yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?
Hamlet, Act II, Scene 2

Daily affirmations

Affirmations are positive statements to help you overcome self-sabotaging, negative automatic thought or thinking

Use affirmations to help you visualize, strengthen your self confidence and self esteem.

Believe in what you’re affirming to yourself

A daily affirmation will help you to make positive changes to your life and career.

Keys to personal improvement and development

Break free from unconscious, habitual ways of reacting to life that were born thousands of years ago.

Embrace higher ways of being.

You will discover ways to see things as a celebration, by being gracious and doing things that fit your higher purpose.

Try a little self-help

Sixty percent of DC-area residents believe psychologists can help them cope with mental health issues.

Here’s a self-help method to complement therapies!

Are you a HERO?

You’re a HERO if you’re:

Hopeful
Efficacious
Resilient
Optimistic